3 times world player of the year? Pah, he’s rubbish!

This is Tomislav Bosec of Inter Zapresic scoring against NK Zadar in the Croatian first division. Apparently he was trying get to the VIP box where his family was sitting but still, don’t do it in front of the home fans eh?

This is Dani returning to action at the Ruiz de Lopera in the Real Betis v Salamanca game in Spain’s second division.

Sergio Garcia breaks from the halfway line and sits it on a plate for Dani who just has to tap….. oh

For a minute here I thought this guy was the striker. Decent finish I thought to myself, right place at the right time and all that but then I quickly realised he was actually supposed to be defending the goal.

Still, nice of the commentator to give him the full goalscoring treatment – Gooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaalll!!!!

I’ve seen goalkeepers put beer on their gloves to make them a bit more sticky but using glue is clearly not a good idea. Here’s Farsley Celtic’s Piotr Skiba keeping goal against AFC Telford in the Blue Sq Conference North.

Mr Wooden himself gets in a wooden helicopter and delivers a perfectly wooden sales pitch. He’s really sold the place to me, now where can I book one of these excruciating trips?

This is without doubt the worst miss I have ever seen… It’s less than 10cm out!

Ilija Sivonjic take a bow.